Monday, 21 April 2014

Consent

Trigger Warning; abuse, consent and rape.


Today's post is not going to be cheerful and upbeat but I hope it helps some people. There have been a lot of allegations in the media and on youtube of people in a position of power coercing and forcing others to have sex with them in exchange for something (terry richardson it was a photoshoot in vogue). The biggest problem with this is that a lot of these people, mainly men, are still in their powerful career as companies, friends and fans have covered for them. A lot of victims don't necessarily realise that it has happened to them, groupies have existed for decades and while not all of these people were abuse many were probably coerced.

So today I want to talk about consent; what is, how you give consent and when the line has been crossed

Consent is an enthusiastic yes that tells the other person that you are ready to partake in a sexual act with them. Only you can give consent for your own body and it can be revoked at any time; say for instance you're ok with foreplay but not ready to go all the way or you are in a relationship with the person. You saying no means the other person is legally obliged to stop. You can give consent by saying yes, initiating an act (with your parents consent) or positive body language.

You can revoke consent in many ways, it doesn't have to be an explicit no; your body language, crying or moving away can be a revokement of consent. There are times when a person cannot physically give consent:

If a person is under the age of 16 in the uk or 18 in America they cannot give consent
If a person is drunk or unconscious they cannot give consent
If a person is asleep they cannot give consent

Most importantly if you are about to engage in a sexual act and unsure about consent of either side, talk to your partner if possible. Communication is key in sexual relationships.

I wrote this post for anyone out there who may have doubts as to whether they have experienced abuse or how to gain consent.

Below is a video by TyrannosaurusLex is a great resource I found on consent that I think is definitely worth watching.


Resources about consent, abuse and rape (taken from Lex's description box)

This Is Abuse: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/
RAINN (US): http://www.rainn.org/
Rape Crisis: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
RAINN's international resources: https://www.rainn.org/get-help/sexual...

Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre national freephone helpline: 0808 802 9999 (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day of the year) 

24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247

National Sexual Assault Hotline (US): 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)

RAINN Online Hotline: https://ohl.rainn.org/online/

Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90



Remember that there is always someone to talk to




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