Today I wanted to write about something that seems to be going around the blogging community quite a bit; blogging guilt. This happens when we take time out from blogg ing- for a variety of reasons- and when you find it hard to write again you feel guilty and that makes you feel worse and it becomes a viscious cycle. You don't have time to blog, you dont blog, you feel guilty, you have nothing to write about, you feel guilty, you let it make you insecure, you feel guilty. That's a lot of guilt about something which is supposed to be fun.
This time last week I started writing a post called "Just Swimming" and it was literally going be about swimming and me regaining my love for it. When a blog idea pops in my head I type up the title and save it in the drafts. I got the idea of this title from rediscovering my love of swimming and was going to talk about how it helped me both mentally and physically and it really does. But then my legs got knocked out from under me, as many of you know I wont be progressing to third year at uni and although I tried to stay upbeat I couldn't help but let it get me down.
I needed time out from everything and was basically only reachable for a weekend by old fashioned texting, and y'know what? It felt good. I was sick of constantly checking my feeds and stalking other people's lives. It gave me time to reflect and see this for what it really was; a fresh start, a new opportunity. I'd had enough signs that uni wasn't for me and I finally had to listen to the universe. I let myself mope and to be honest I still do feel like I'm grieving, but this also feels right, uni was always too much of a struggle or not worth the hardships I put my body trough and now I want to find something that is.
And yes it means I stopped blogging for a bit whilst I got my head together and I might still be a bit sporadic, but I don't think bloggers should feel guilty about putting themselves first. You should never feel guilty about taking time out to make yourself feel better and happy again before sitting in front of a computer and tirelessly writing. It will only show in your writing, for better or worse.
What I really need to do right now is be a bit selfish; look for jobs, build myself up a bit and do the things I love. And I'm not going to force myself to blog during this time, if it happens it happens. So if you feel like you can't write, take a bit of time out and don't ever feel guilty for taking time to refill your own cup.
I wanted to thank all my lovely friends and family and the community on twitter for giving me hope and listening to me. You are all angels.
Just keep swimming.